1. Overloaded: I always wondered why people cannot understand the nature of my office work, thoughts around future plan, following market voaltality, taking care of house hold needs, plan for kids future, plan for retirement etc. With always something going on in the mind, I always felt overloaded for the new challenges and multiple things to handle. Either I use to accept silently the new responsibilities; agitated from inside or show out anger.
2. Expectation: The other side of the "Overloaded" is the expectations. Expections of others than expectations of self. Expecting an helping hand, expecting to offload the job, expecting other to behave the way we want, expecting others to listen the way we want, expecting others to be the way we want. With the expectations comes reasoning - always have the reason to justify the behavior, justify the decisions, to even have the justification on why others are incorrect.
3. Perfectionism: Part of the expectations is the perfectionalism. We expect the job to be done in a way there should not be a question from the other person. Expecting this from self is a very good attitude. However, expecting this from everyone around is a cause for agitation, irritation and anger. You tend to find fault in everything and everyone. You tend to criticize, complain, condemn every action, biulding up an unsetteled wellbeing.
4. Not mine attitude: This is not my work, why should I get involved? Why am I forced to get involved? Am I the only one responsible for this? Why am I forced to be a scapegoat? Why me always?. Any of these sentences; is ticking the time internally that is waiting to be exploded one day.
For all the reasons stated above it is all because of ME. I am overloaded, I am expecting, I am loking for perfection, Why Me?. In other words - I am not able to explain people my situation, I am not able to make understand the mutual responsibility, I am not able to help others overcome their situations. In short the baseline is "I am not able to handle the current situation" effectively. It is easier said than done. I now understand that irritation, anger, agitation are present only if I allow it. I owe to myself to consciously remind and follow the below points to improve myself
1. There should be a reason why someone is acting the way they are acting.
2. Criticise, Condemn or Complain - Any fool can do that and most fools do it. I should not be a fool.
3. Give honest, sincere appreciation
4. Your work is done more when the other person importance is made aware, give importance to others
5. You are not fully dressed until you dont wear a smile
6. Be a good listener.
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